Failcare: Failure at Not Giving a F***.
I always thought I was a pretty grounded gray rock type of dude. I mean the whole Donald Trump thing I could care less about, because I have no control of it. Black lives matter? That sounds great and all, but I seriously have no control over what a cop does when he pulls a dude over in America, or systematic racial biases. A random guy just pushed on on the train? It’s fine. Coronavirus? Hope everyone survives this. You’ll never see me a protest, voting booth, or arguing with people about shit that doesn’t matter. A dude was rude to me today? Just nod your head, agree and keep going with your life. I try to keep a general attitude of if whatever is going is not affecting my own plans, or out of my control, then just ignore it and keep it moving. This generally keeps me grounded most of the time, and things don’t upset me, or I so I thought.
I started trying to take a note of things that bothered me recently. I tell myself I don’t give a fuck, but at times I give way too many.
I remember one day I got pissed to the point of having my entire mood was altered because someone didn’t respond to my message until the next day. I asked someone something as simple as ‘when can you get this to me’, and I didn’t get a response until the next day. The thing I was asking for, wasn’t really important, nor was this reply. The fact that someone felt that my message for whatever reason could be left for an entire day was what upset me. This is where you learn shit about how fragile your ego is.
I don’t know what it was about this moment, but I realized Haruun you are fucked up. First I automatically assumed that this person ignored my message, second, even if they did ignore my message, why the fuck am I so upset about it? This thing I wanted at the time, in the grand scheme of things was a 5/10 on the importance scale. You know what, forget about how important this thing was or wasn’t, the bottom line was that I literally had my mental effected by something as simple as a message not answered.
I had some epiphany that day 7 months ago now. I have so many things I should be giving a fuck about, how the hell could I find the time to let that bother me? How did I let that effect my day. It came down to straight up giving too many fucks, when everyone has so few to give.
That day I decided to seriously re-evaluate myself, that is something to give a fuck about it. Yourself. What should I care about, what shouldn’t I and being careful about how I internalize things and focus on shit that matters. Like making sure people read this blog, and my sites, my ads, and dreams. Like man, that is some embarrassing shit. Who has the time to care about stuff like that? A message? The coffee machine not working? The office idiot? The random shit that comes at you day in and day out. Like there is only so many fucks one can give, I’m glad I had that realization and hope to god I try and get that special snowflake inside of me under control.
- There is only so many fucks one has to give.
- Ignore 90% of shit that flies your way.
- Focus on what matters.